yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
