butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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