If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
