What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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