No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
