found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
