are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
