I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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