The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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