Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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