On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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