Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
