38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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