god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
