You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
