I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
