suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
