Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
