i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
