So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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