I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
