Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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