So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
the liver wants what the liver wants
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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