What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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