I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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