I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
