they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
