I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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