He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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