she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
