I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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