where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
