Im at strip club and am horny
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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