Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
