God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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