omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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