ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize