You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
