I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
