I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Randomize
