I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
