she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
