Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
