i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize