you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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