There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
