her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
