Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
