yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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