Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
