Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
