im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
