This girl is more easily done than said...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
try to milk me bitch
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