I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I will pee on everything he values.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
