Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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