At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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