Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
