4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
