I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
