Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
