his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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