So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Sext me about skeletons
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
