I heard we made out
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
