if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
